TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorders
To mark Eating Disorders Awareness Week we today speak to County Durham man James Dunn, who has turned his life around after reaching out to TEWV for support with an eating disorder.
Keen cyclist James Dunn never consciously watched what he ate – until redundancy changed his world in 2016.
Although he quickly secured a new role, James found obsessive behaviours creeping into his life. He started walking miles to work, exercising at lunchtime, and cutting down on food.
“It was a way of having control over my life, probably because I felt out of my comfort zone in my new job,” he said.
“It is unsettling to think about it now, as I don’t know how it happened. I’d never had problems with eating before, but it became all about balancing the day out in different ways.
“It was almost as if I had to do a task – some type of exercise or physical activity – to earn the chance to have a sit down for a moment, listen to music or have something to eat.”
Reaching out for help
The situation gradually got worse for James between 2017 and 2019. He often felt dizzy from lack of food and lost still more weight.
When his parents, who live in rural County Durham, noticed the changes they encouraged him to make an appointment with a GP. The visit did not go well.
“The doctor asked if I thought I had a problem, and I said no. That was the end of it. I know now that I did have a problem, but at the time I denied it and just went back home,” he said.
“By that point I was eating very little but still did lots of physical activities, like mucking out the horses and taking the dogs for a walk. It felt like I had to.”
Six weeks later, with her son still losing weight, James’ mother insisted he needed to go back to the doctor – and told him that she was coming with him this time too.
“I saw a different GP the second time, who recognised what I was going through and told me I needed help. Those words really sunk in – and that’s when the help started,” he said.
“My weight was at such a point by then that, had I gone out on a long bike ride, I might not have come back. As dramatic as that sounds, that was the case.”
First steps to treatment
At first James, 39, was given an appointment with a psychologist. However, after just one session, he was referred to our community services for specialist support.
Targets were put in place, to encourage James to eat more healthily, but nothing happened. He continued to lose weight, until his BMI was so low that he was unable to drive.
“In my mind I was making a conscious effort to hit the targets, but subconsciously I was doing extra activity to counteract the fact I’d had a snack,” he said.
“Once I was told it was dangerous to drive due, I was given two options – to attend day services at Imperial Avenue eating disorder unit in Stockton or be admitted to a ward.”
James chose Imperial Avenue. He had to take sick leave from his post in an architect’s office to attend sessions five days a week – and initially found it gruelling.
“That first day was unsettling. I’d never met anyone with an eating disorder before, so it was an eye-opening experience, and it was difficult too, because I’m quite an introvert,” he said.
“But once I got to know the staff and patients I started to enjoy myself. They became kind of like a second family. Before you knew it a day had passed just chatting and doing activities.
“At first I refused help. I wouldn’t admit that there was anything wrong – even though I knew there was. I just resisted help until it all started to fit together and make sense.”
Journey to recovery
The activities on offer at Imperial Avenue helped focus James’s mind, as did talking to others in similar situations. At the same time, staff supported him with setting nutrition goals.
His recovery was not without problems. At certain times his weight plateaued or dipped but, determined to avoid being admitted to hospital, James continued to “just keep going”.
“I started to feel my personality coming out as I had more nutrition. I was a chattier and had more of a sense of humour – people noticed, and I liked that. It was a big boost,” he said.
“When I saw that people actually wanted to talk to me, that they enjoyed being in my company, it really spurred me on. Imperial Avenue really did become a second home.”
James attended his final session at the centre just before lockdown in 2020. His weight had stabilised and, when lockdown started, he was monitored at home via Teams meetings.
By this time, James was a lot happier with life. He was back at work part-time, allowed to drive again and, in his spare time, was helping out an old school friend at his garage.
Lockdown for James meant working on his parents’ small holding, playing with the family dogs, learning to cook and taking on new projects. It also gave him time to plan a new future.
Bright future ahead
“I’m good now, I really am, and things have changed a lot. During lockdown I met my partner online and we dated virtually for four months, before she moved to be with me,” he said.
“Last year was probably the best of my life. We moved into our own home, drove a land rover across Morocco and, on New Year’s Eve, my baby daughter was born. Amazing.
“I used to talk about going to Morocco at day service, and it’s only through the support I got there that I got the courage to do it. It really changed my life – and very much for the better.”
James is also back on his beloved bike – and enjoyed taking part in a competitive endurance race last year. Back in 2017 a similar ride “nearly killed him” due to poor nutrition.
The eating disorder which once ruled his life is now in his past. Instead, his life is full of future plans with his partner and daughter – like possible holidays and house moves.
“I’m definitely the happiest I’ve ever been. Back when I had the eating disorder I could never have pictured my life now. I have Imperial Avenue to thank for that, I really do,” said James.
“To anyone who finds themselves in the same situation as me I’d say follow your ambitions, follow your dreams – no matter the hurdles. There is help out there – you just need to ask.”
Support, help and further resources:
BEAT: The charity provides a wide range of information and guidance on eating disorders. It also holds specialist courses and operates a helpline for those in need: The UK’s Eating Disorder Charity – Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk)
EDNE: Eating Distress North East provides information on family support, counselling, health and wellbeing workshops, mindfulness courses and training and education: Eating Distress North East – Charitable Organisation (edne.org.uk)
GPs: Your own doctor can provide information on eating disorders and refer you to specialist services.
Recovery College Online: Information for service users, carers, staff and anyone with an interest in eating disorders. Eating Disorders – Recovery College Online.
