Healing through helping – Bea’s story

Tuesday 3 June 2025

Bea, 45, dreamed of helping others as a nurse while growing up – but her hopes were dashed due to on-going ill health.

Instead, she now volunteers as an admin assistant for our Trust’s involvement and engagement (I&E) team and uses her lived experience to support people in our care.

Giving others hope

“Volunteers are exceptional group of people who want to give back to others. I want to use my experience to give people a bit of hope, that light at the end of a tunnel,” she said.

Bea, from Darlington, developed severe asthma as a child and was admitted to hospital almost monthly. The illness affected both her education and overall health.

But she remained determined to pursue her dreams – passing her exams after studying in hospital and signing up to the army’s Queen Alexandra nursing corps at 17.

“I like helping people, and have got a lot of time for people, so it felt like the right thing to do at the time,” said Bea.

“Most of my mum’s family were RAF and army, and I was always interested in their stories – especially the wartime ones. I kind of followed in their footsteps.”

Despite her poor health as a child, Bea managed to fly through most of her basic training in Surrey – all the way to the interview section.

Sadly, she then developed double pneumonia and wasn’t fit enough to continue. Her dreams were shattered when told it would take more than six years to fully recover.

“It meant I’d have been 26 or 27 by the time I re-started basic, and that just didn’t feel right. All my hopes were dashed – I knew I wouldn’t be back,” she said.

Resilience through poor health

Bea spent eight weeks in hospital with pneumonia and, once home, she developed “weird” symptoms – such as overwhelming tiredness and pain all over her body.

“I’d be sleeping for hours, even days, at a time. I had chronic pain all the time, as well as headaches, flu-like symptoms and pain at all my pressure points,” she said.

Tests for a wide range of conditions all came back negative and, eventually, Bea was referred to a consultant rheumatologist.

He diagnosed her with fibromyalgia and chronic myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME), sometimes known as chronic fatigue syndrome – putting an end to her hopes of a nursing career.

“I was put on a strict regime, which I fought for the first four years. It was all about pacing yourself, eating the right diet, rest, pain relief and knowing your limits,” she said.

It was everything that, at 20, I just didn’t want to do. Life became very limited, but it was a choice of that or burn out and ending up bed-ridden for the rest of my life.

Bea spent the next ten years needing professional carers to look after her and, as the days and weeks slipped by, she found her mental health affected by her illness.

“It was a long slog to get diagnosed – more than four years. It felt like I was going mad at the time, and I also felt like a hypochondriac, because no-one knew what was wrong,” said Bea.

“It was like the end of the world when I was diagnosed, thinking that this was now my life for ever. And it was for ever. It has been relentless for years. I’ve learned to cope the best I can.”

Dreaming of a rewarding career

Bea eventually came to terms with having ME – battling on through the constant round of sore throats, flu-like symptoms, headaches, muscular pain, chronic tiredness and brain fog.

But she still dreamed of a career in which she could take care of others – despite being very vulnerable to infection and ‘living a life ruled by medication and rest’.

“ME used to be called yuppy flu or skivers flu – as you can look very well, when you really aren’t. For years I was confined to the house, and spent weeks bedbound,” said Bea.

“Over the years I was prescribed more and more medication, like pain patches, sleeping pills, muscle relaxants and spine injections, and eventually became medicine sensitive.

“Every time a medicine stopped working, the dose would go up and up. I don’t know how I’m still alive, and it nearly killed me coming off. Withdrawal is the most horrific experience ever.”

Bea worked with staff at a local hospital to gradually ween herself off the drugs – and, during allergy tests, it was found she was actually allergic to her medication.

“A vaccine for allergies ended up being developed after this, which was one good thing to come from my illness. But the withdrawal really was hell,” said Bea.

Although Bea was unable to work due to her poor health, she was determined to keep her mind busy by being productive – and studied business administration at home.

Sharing lived experience

Then, following trauma in 2018, she came under the care of our Trust – under-going eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing therapy (EMDR) as part of her treatment.

“At the time I couldn’t keep myself occupied enough, so I asked if I could volunteer. I started on check and chat, ringing to people to see how they are, and still do that,” said Bea.

“I also volunteered on an acute ward, then did a talk about volunteers via a webinar. After that I was asked if I’d like to use my admin skills in a volunteer role – and I said yes.”

Bea now spends a maximum of eight hours volunteering each week – splitting her time between check and chat duties and admin tasks with the I&E team.

“I volunteer because I love it. If I can share my lived experience and help others, then that’s what I’d like to do,” said Bea.

“When you have been down that road, you want to support others. Show them that it is possible to come out the other side – as a lot of people don’t see that in their darkest time.

Volunteering has helped change my life, and I hope I can do the same for others.