A man who has overcome huge life hurdles is using his lived experience to help others as a much-loved Trust volunteer.
Dennis was just 11 when his life spiralled into a cycle of addiction and crime. He lost his teen and early adult years to addiction – “merely existing” until a stint in rehab at 42.
“As a kid I felt different, but now I know I just made myself different,” he said. “Nothing pushed me towards substance abuse; there was no real reason for it.
“What I didn’t understand back then was at the beginning I had a choice, but once addiction got a hold of me, that was it. There is nothing glamourous about addiction.”
Childhood problems
Dennis, who was born in Sherburn Road near Durham, started getting into trouble with the police in his early teens – often due to his addictions.
At 17 he was jailed for the first time.
His mother, Miriam, died while he was serving his time and he was escorted by wardens to her funeral wearing double-handcuffs – due to being deemed a flight risk.
“I felt so ashamed, but it didn’t stop me,” said Dennis. “Instead, it gave me an excuse to carry on and live the way I wanted, which of course was the wrong way.
“I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin but didn’t know how I was supposed to feel. Drugs and alcohol were an escape from reality and responsibility.”
Prison and probation
Dennis left school without exams or any real ambitions. Despite marrying and having a son, he continued to get into trouble and the relationship eventually failed.
“I always put my own needs first and didn’t realise this until many years later,” he said.
“Nowadays I use the hard things in life to strengthen myself – not as an excuse to do what I want. Having the right support around you is so important.”
Dennis spent his 20s and 30s in an endless round of court appearances, prison, probation, community service and home curfew. Still, he was unable to admit his addictions.
After the tragic death of his new partner, his addiction almost cost him his life. But even a coma, stroke and months in hospital were not enough to curb his behaviour.
“I could have died,” he said. “I was very ill and had to learn to walk again after the coma using a splint and stick. But, although my body healed, I was still an addict.
“I used my partner’s death as an excuse for my behaviour after I was released from hospital, but I knew I had finally reached rock bottom when I ended up appearing in court in a wheelchair. That was the turning point. I asked for help.”
Changing his life
In rehab Dennis was taught “what no means” – as well as how to take responsibility for his choices. He now uses this experience to help others as a Trust volunteer.
“I only ever existed until I was 42 – rehab taught me how to live,” he said.
“It was only once I started in recovery that I learned how to be a good partner, a good father and a good son. It is something you have to do for the rest of your life, one day at a time.”
Dennis has now found happiness with his partner Dawn and “no longer needs drink or drugs to change the way he feels”. Instead, he has found great satisfaction in volunteering for our Trust.
He has just marked his 10th year of sobriety and said: “The only person you can change is yourself. But sometimes people just need someone to listen to – and that’s what I do.
“I have quite a few health problems due to my past lifestyle, which is to be expected, but I use my lived experience to support others. Volunteering for TEWV gives my life purpose.
“I’m finally comfortable in my own skin – and that’s all right. No matter how hard life is there’s always a purpose for the pain we’ve felt. We can either let it define us or refine us.”
Volunteering to help others
Dennis became an official TEWV volunteer back in 2019 and offers support to people with addictions as well as mental health difficulties on our wards.
He is a keen advocate of the volunteer system – and urges others with lived experience to come forward and help out too.
“Don’t be afraid to give volunteering a try – as there’s always a miracle around the corner. Don’t focus on the final destination, because it’s the journey that’s beautiful,” he said.
Dedicated volunteer
Lisa Cole, the voluntary services manager for our Trust, today praised Dennis for his hard work and dedication to helping others through his volunteering.
She said: “Dennis is a dedicated volunteer who brings warmth and empathy to his volunteering roles.
“Dennis has a truly inspirational story, showing us all how we can overcome challenges and achieve great things.
“We are so grateful to have Dennis as part of our team, spreading his positivity and kindness to everyone he meets.”
- To find out more about volunteering at Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust, visit www.tewv.nhs.uk/get-involved/volunteering
