I’ve been a Pools fan since I was little. I was seven when I went to my first match, so I’ve seen a few ups and downs.
You do in life though and I’d always accepted that until I had a year when it was one thing after another going wrong. We were on holiday when my sister rang and told us that my dad had died suddenly. It was a massive shock. I’d always been very close to him, so it felt awful that I wasn’t there.
Before we’d really had time to recover, my brother lost his wife to cancer and then my sister lost her husband the same way. Then, to make matters worse, I got laid off from work with ill-health retirement.
No pleasure in life
I felt terrible, there was no pleasure in life. I was just down all the time and couldn’t see a way out of it. My wife said I should see the doctor – he said he thought I was depressed and that he knew some people who could help. That’s how I ended up working with one of the teams at Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust – they were in Victoria Road at that point.
Talking therapy worked
I got some anti-depressants, but what sticks in my mind is the counselling, a sort of talking therapy. At the first session I was really upset and it all just came out, I was in a right state, but it slowly got better.
I’d say how I was feeling, sometimes things that I couldn’t say to family in the same way in case I upset them. They’d listen and maybe say try this or what about that?
It gradually worked. I had weekly appointments at first and then fortnightly and then, after a few months they said they thought I was OK and could stop. We ended the anti-depressants as well.
Here and happy
They were right, I was OK. It felt like I’d come out of the other side of things. It wasn’t just that I could cope – I actually felt good for the first time in a while. Since then, it’s been back to life’s usual ups and downs but I’m here and I’m happy.
I’d encourage anybody who finds themselves feeling that bad to get help. Whether you’ve lost loved ones, work has gone wrong or there is just too much getting on top of you – getting support before it gets too bad can make all the difference.
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