9th May 2022
Mental Health Awareness week is an annual event which focuses on achieving better mental health across the UK. Taking place across 9-15 May, the theme this year is loneliness.
Loneliness can affect many of us at one time or another and it has had a huge impact on our mental and physical health during the pandemic. Reaching out to others may feel like a challenge at times and knowing where to look for advice is sometimes difficult.
Trust consultant clinical psychologist, Dr Vicky Jervis, has shared some of her top tips and advice for tackling loneliness, to help raise awareness across the week.
“Loneliness is a universal human emotion that is not something to judge, ignore, or find shame in, it’s simply a reminder of our basic need to connect with others. Feelings of loneliness are personal, so everyone’s experience will be different. If loneliness is affecting your life, there are things you can try that might help.”
What is loneliness?
Loneliness is both the state of being alone and the unhappiness you experience about it. The frequency and intensity of loneliness can vary from individual to individual as a result and it’s important we distinguish between loneliness and ‘solitude’.
Loneliness is an unwanted state, marked by a sense of isolation and missing connection. It is entirely possible to be around others and still feel lonely, perhaps one of the most difficult forms of loneliness. Solitude, however, is the state of being alone yet being quite comfortable with it. As a result, solitude, where it is welcome, can be beneficial for wellbeing.
Over the years many different types of loneliness have been identified, including:
- Social – missing or lacking a group or wider social network of friends
- Emotional – for example, missing a particular loved one after bereavement or feeling you are unable to connect to the level you would like with those around you
- Situational – being lonely at times such as birthdays, Christmas or event (COVID pandemic)
- Chronic – feeling significantly lonely all or most of the time
What causes loneliness?
The causes of loneliness are as individual and complex as the experience itself. People can often experience short-term emotional loneliness in response to a life event such as moving away, a relationship break up or bereavement or changing jobs.
Loneliness can also be attributed to psychological factors such as low self-esteem. People who lack confidence in themselves often believe that they are unworthy of the attention or routinely expect rejection from others, which can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.
Loneliness can also be a symptom of common mental health conditions such as depression. Depression often causes people to withdrawal socially, which can lead to isolation. Unsurprisingly research also suggests that loneliness can, in turn, contribute to the symptoms of depression, creating a vicious cycle.
Top Tips to help tackle loneliness
1. Consider sharing
Whilst it’s hard to admit you’re lonely, doing so can help you connect with others (not to mention help others in a similar situation). Try sharing how you feel with someone you trust, or even online if anonymity helps, all contact can remind you that you’re not alone.
2. Making connections – old and new
It’s a phrase we use a lot but when it comes to relationships it’s not the quantity but the quality that counts. Try making a commitment to yourself that when you think about someone, you will reach out to them in some small way, even if it’s just a quick text. Messaging old friends or setting up a group chat may help them, and you feel more connected.
It’s also helpful to work towards finding new, small ways to connect. This could be online, in person, joining a group with a shared interest, with animals or nature. All kinds of connection count, but remember, you deserve to be around those who make you feel safe and happy.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others
We live in a social media defined world where it’s easy to get drawn into making unflattering comparisons with the ‘Insta-perfect’ images we are constantly viewing. It’s important to remember these are often not a true representation. Comparison can be the ‘thief of joy’ so try to keep perspective, or even consider pressing that ‘mute’ button when things can feel too much.
4. Schedule activities
Plan your week to include doing something you enjoy, whether that might be a hobby, exercise, something creative, reading, gardening, or listening to music. Whatever it is, doing something that makes you feel good and gives you a sense of achievement is known to be effective against the negativity that surrounds loneliness. And if you can share that activity with others… all the better!
5. Take care of yourself
Loneliness has been shown to have a significant drain on physical and mental wellbeing and it’s important to think about your own self-care. Prioritise taking good care of yourself and show yourself the same compassion you would extend to others. Make sure the basics are in place; sleep well, drink plenty of water and get moving.
6. Act if needed
If the feelings of loneliness are constant it may be time to consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Sometimes loneliness gets to the point where people are continuing to struggle or simply don’t have the support they need to manage their emotions and feelings. If the symptoms continue this can have a significant impact on mental health. If this is the case, please reach out for help.
If you need to reach out and speak to someone about feeling lonely, you can visit Loneliness – Every Mind Matters – NHS (www.nhs.uk) for further advice and support.
If you’re experiencing stress, feelings of anxiety or low mood the NHS mental health hub has advice, audio guides and practical tools to help.
